I signed up Marie Forleo #BSchool earlier this year. I didn't really start on it until about 8 weeks ago. I have just got to the end of the first module.
She asked us to write an email to people we respect and trust to ask them what our super powers are.
Can I just tell you, that I have been seriously procrastinating doing this. In my head, I was like. No way. How narcissistic, how self important do you think you are, that you could even assume you have super powers. What will people think of you. What if no one replies? Shock Horror!
I grew up with a narrative that others are of supreme importance and learnt to minimise myself and I have become very good at this.
So this exercise was very difficult for me.
But last Friday I bit the bullet and clicked send. I cringed. I did it as I knocked off work so could ignore the whole thing and pretend I didn't do it and face it on Monday. (But lets be honest those strategies rarely work, and I have been ruminating on it the whole weekend.)
Today arrived and I have been reading the mails over and over again. It just doesn't sink in. First, almost everyone replied and secondly, they said the most beautiful things.
In response to one of the emails I realised something.
This exercise for me, was actually one of self-compassion. I procrastinated because it is so difficult for me to hear and accept positive reinforcement for the things that I do.
I realized that my inner world is filled with constant commentary on what I am not doing right, what I am failing at, what I should be doing, could be doing, not doing but must do, what I could do better, how I could have handled a situation better. It spans across the spectrum of my life. From motherhood, to work and being a wife. I even berate myself for berating myself. I mean really! But the chatter is constant and unrelenting.
I cannot comment for men, but as women I have found a tendency to focus so much on the negative about our selves.
Marie's exercise taught me to add a little dose of courage to a mix of vulnerability and to ask for a little positivity.
Its been eye-opening, inspiring and motivating to hear what people think of me, but its been super challenging to ask for it in the first place.
Do you need it? Fellow Females, Wondrous Women, do you need to hear something positive about yourself, tell me if you have constant internal chatter that just needs to be shooshed for a little while? Then do it...
Step 1. Ask for it
Step 2. Hear it
Step 3. Accept it.
Step 4. Realise it.
Step 5. Share it.
Tell me about it. Id love to hear your story.